Yesterday, I finished Ken Jedding's book "Higher Education: On Life, Landing a Job, and Everything Else They Didn't Teach You in College." And I think it lives up to it's "everything else" claim.
The book is divided into four sections. The first half is solely on careers. The other half of the book covers relationships, parents, and, finally, perspective.
It's aimed mostly at recent graduates, but I feel current students and people that aren't even in college will find it useful. If I was a mentor or counselor, it would be my primary recommendation to anyone struggling in the beginning stages of establishing their own life and career. Every college have this in their library or resource centers.
So why should you read this book?
Because it spoke directly to what I've been challenged with and seen others my age struggle with post-college. Because it sets your mind at ease when you feel like you're doing everything wrong and you want things to be so different. Because it's practical and written very down-to-earth yet not condescending. Because it's hopeful. Because it might save you from a lot of frustration and mistakes.
I took notes through the whole book. It's really a quick read. Or at least for me because it was so encourage and motivating. It spoke to so many areas that were on my mind. Sometimes it gets a bit dry or redundant because he gives different situations. But allowed him to produce a book on such serious topics that speak, I feel, to the broadest spectrum of young adults possible.
I'm posting my notes in their entirety, with some of the gems I found in bold:
Part 1: Careers
Wisdom consists not so much in knowing what to do, but knowing what to do next. - Herbert Hoover
You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. Do you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. - Steve Jobs
Anything that interests you is going to expose you to people who share your interests. You'll always leave with something. - p. 36
The best thing you can do is to gather lots of new information, let it bump up against what you already know, and then see how it feels and where it leads you. - p. 43
Interviews: be on time, look professional (err on overdressed suit and tie), bring your resume (prepared), turn off your phone, listen and don't interrupt (mirroring and creating a natural conversational rhythm creates rapport and people hire and recommend people they like; come across as reasonably confident, poised, easy to understand and communicate with, and endowed with a personality and some intellectual curiosity), ask questions but not too many (prepare intellectual questions, comments about being part of business, willingness to earn promotion), say thank you (how connection was made, what you gained, what your goals are, personalize...good examples of TY notes). - p. 45-55
Internships or volunteering are good when:
- it helps you establish valuable connections within the industry
- it teaches you something constructive
- it helps you feel upbeat and positive
- it might actually turn into a paying positing - p. 60
People will test you at first to make sure you are trustworthy enough to eventually handle bigger tasks. Even if the tasks that are assigned to you feel trivial, silly, or downright insulting—if you don't do them well, and with a good attitude, you're never going to be offered more substantial responsibilities. - p. 61
Envision the task list that would look great on your resume, and then offer to do those things. - p. 61
Make the work of volunteering, interning, or temping work for you. - p. 63
Finding your passion is not an event but an act of continual refinement. - p. 65
Trigger questions:
What would I do for free?
-list three specific areas in which you would volunteer
-people or things, indoors or outdoors, big or small organizations, normal 9-5 or irregular, teams or along?
- just by starting to think about this, your brain will take over
What do I think needs to be done?
- No one is going to pay you simply to do what you love. Generally, people pay ore people to be useful, helpful, entertaining, inspiring, or otherwise positively contributive to the world in some way. - p. 71
What areas of life have value and meaning for me?
- make a list
Lateral thinking is taking an idea from one area to another. - p. 76
Taking action often leads you to receive new information. Each action is positive momentum because you're building a bigger framework of "who I am and what might be right." - p. 78
The art of lateral thinking is not merely making labels, but figuring yourself out. The clues come from what you like to do. What are you talented at doing? What were you doing when you were the happiest? When were you the most effective? - p. 81
What verbs am I? Which ones describe the things I do well? Verbs that describe others you admire? Based off fav childhood memory? - p. 84
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort. - Herm Albright
So long as you're telling yourself you're stuck, you're stuck. - p. 88
The different areas you try to explore—even if your efforts seem small and meaningless at the time—can lead to much bigger things later on. - p. 96
Stepping out of your routine is the best way to make things happen. - p. 97
No one can tell you exactly how to make money, but I can tell you how you probably won't: by making "money" your motivation without taking into account who you really are. - p. 101
You'll have a better chance to go all the way if you're fully engaged with your heart, as well as your mind. - p. 102
Arts: Get as much training as possible, expose yourself to as much of the medium as possible, and learn how to take criticism. ... When we ask for feedback, usually we're hoping to hear that the work we've done is fantastic. But that's rarely what we're told, nor how we learn. - p. 107
There are aspects of success other than money that are equally important and reliable: staying true to yourself, having a positive influence on the lives of others, and negotiating a life that reflects what you fell you're here to do. - p. 109
Part 2: Relationships
We're looking for someone we're attracted to, whom we respect, and with whom we can imagine ourselves navigating life well. - p. 137
Sometimes people who are desperate for a relationship spend their time "waiting" for it, rather than living. - p. 137
When people volunteer, they get back as much or even more than try give. And this actively teaches them the law by which intimate relationships work. - p. 138
Chemistry, however powerful, is not enough to sustain a long-term connection. - p. 150
"being in your power," by being focused primarily on trying to be the best person you can be, which often coincides with being at your happiest and most interesting. - p. 151
Part of a relationship is often part of the relationship. - p. 157
Sometimes it's better to love each other from a distance— in their prayers, maybe, or even just occasionally in their thoughts. - p. 159
What were the hoops? Maybe letting go of a stale relationship, jumping through the hoop of independence—which is a statement to yourself and the world: I'll find a new dynamic with someone else. Or perhaps you could call it the hoop of not staying together out of guilt; of bravely trusting that life will bring each of you whatever new experiences—and people—you're meant to encounter. - p. 159
Your ability to love is real and powerful. It's a force like the sun—which, by the way, was made to light more than one planet. - p. 161
How many pessimists end up by desiring the things they fear, in order to prove that they are right? — Robert Mallet p. 163
Object relations. We just tend to seek out and attract people who conform to our understanding of how the world is. - p. 163
Understood correctly, breakups can be a time of shedding old beliefs. If you let them, they will lead you to something better: to becoming the person you really want to be. - p. 165
Part 3: Parents
I realized the only person I needed to please was myself. If you need to seek approval, ask yourself if you're happy. If yes, then you already have approval from yourself; you just don't know it. It's much easier to suck it up and be an adult, to understand that things are not always fair, and people are nog ale ays going go pay attention to the good things you do in life because they're wrapped up in themselves. - p. 191
Changing your beliefs about yourself involves manufacturing your own inspiration, a talent well worth cultivating. - p. 193
If you continue to need approval in an area that your parents find difficult to understand, it's a bit like asking them to continue to parent you. If you can liberate your parents from this "obligation" to approbate of your decisions—to see things exactly as you see them, or to be an expert on something they don't know enough about—you will liberate yourself, as well. - p. 193
When you blame others, you give up your power to change. - Douglas Adams
To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. - William H. Walton
Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Malachy McCourt
Instead of trying to hurt them back, or trying to get them to admit they wer wrong or unkind, focus your energy instead on telling yourself that their criticism wasn't valid and doesn't apply to you. - p. 205
Focusing on another person's failure to support you in all the ways you'd lie them to is sort of like saying that without that constant support, you're hopeless. - p. 205
You cannot easily change other people. But you can change how you react to them. - p. 208
The true motivation to forgive is actually a selfish one. It let's you off the hook. - p. 210
Life's going to deal you situations that fall short of what you want. It happens to all of us. Each time, you'll have two options. Lose hope. Think about the situation creatively. - p. 220
If you wait for the good hinge to happen, you'll continue feeing down. And if you continue feeling down, it's less likely that the good things will happen. Ehich means you get caught in a cycled of low self-esteem. The trick is to feel good about yourself before the world gives you a reason to. - p. 222
We often say to the world, "Give me a reason to stop worrying, and I'll stop worrying." but usually it's up to us to make the first move. We have to find a way to stop earring, and then the world shows us something new. When we find a way to be calm, the world opens up. - p. 227
You have to trust that once you have presented your candidacy in a clear, honest, and polished way, the right company will recognize you as a potentially valuable member of their team and offer you a job. You can only do so much to try to convince someone to hire you without overdoing it and putting the person off. - p 229
No response to job app:
1. Imporve job application
2. This job isn't for me but it really doesn't matter. I don't need to know why.
3. The job for me is still out there
- p. 231
When we're trying to set off in new directions, we sometimes present ourselves with overwhelming alternatives--too big to act upon--and those alternatives increase our feelings of hopelessness. The trick is to transform the big ideas into workable steps. - p. 233
With the exercise of self-trust, new powers shall appear. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
It isn't about the world being good or bad. We all experience darkness along the way. Faith in yourself assumes this: Darkness is part of everyones journey. Faith also assumes that the darkness eventually gives way to light. - p. 238
We don't need every little thing to work out perfectly. We just need them to work out. - p. 238
Your challenges and problems are as personally yours as your fingerprints are. When you deal with en as effectively as you can, little by little you add to your personal power, joy, and happiness. - p. 239
